Dear Visitor,
What I hear most often from couples on hearing about my work is, “We’re not sure this will work for our relationship. We’re just too different.”
Do you know what my response is?
“You’re right.”—but not for the reasons you may think. I know that every relationship is unique, just like the individuals in them.
But the truth is, each and every one of us is driven by the same thing. Our universal need for a deep, lasting connection.
Everything anyone ever says or does is either an act of love or a longing for it.
So when I agree with people who believe that the strategies I teach will not work for them, it’s not because I don’t think they will. It’s because these people are more committed to their limitations than to their growth.
They would rather believe that their relationship is inherently flawed, and will never change. That they themselves will never change, their partners won’t put in the work required, and that getting help is pointless.
There are no victims in relationship empowerment work. Being a victim is someone who believes,
“They’re a small force being moved about by larger forces
over which they have no control.”
- Terry Real
Very often those larger forces include one’s own psychology.
For almost every couple and individual, there are proven skills that they can learn to rebuild a relationship. They can learn to reconnect with one another and create a true sense of intimacy.
Because when we take the time to learn what's actually going on, joyful, loving relationships ARE possible.
